Dear Natasha,
When I went home to visit I saw a man who molested me when I was younger, and it triggered so many emotions. I still feel trapped. I love my family but I just wanna get TF away. There are so many bad memories here, sometimes more than good. It's too hard being around the people I love when I know I will also see the people who destroyed my childhood. I don't know what to do sometimes and I don't want to go back to the head space where I want to end my life or hurt myself because the pain is just too much to bear. I feel like I'm smothering. You ever feel like that?
Signed,
Emotional Triggers
Dear Emotional Triggers,
If there was a book about emotional triggers that cause psychotic breaks then I would be on the cover. I've been there, done that. But you know what? The fact that you took the time to evaluate your actions and reach out to someone for help means that you're stronger than you think! Most depressed people that are too far gone would prefer to end their lives rather than share their turmoil with anyone, let alone a stranger. My advice to you is to keep the lines of communication open. Talk to somebody...a counselor maybe? If you don't feel as though this is something you can openly discuss with your friends and family then an impartial party may be just what you need. Your insurance may even cover mental health visits. But please don't give up on yourself! You've made it this far and just know that you are not alone. PTSD is something that so many people deal with on a daily basis, whether it's due to emotional or physical abuse, and being silent about your ordeals make them worse. There are so many past hurts that trigger me in the present but I continuously surround myself with love, happiness, and faith, and it strengthens me to be the person that I am today: ready to tackle the world! I love you. I truly do. Because your strength is nothing short of AMAZING.
xoxo,
Natasha Marie
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