Ask Natasha: Reader Letter: "Relationship Mistakes"

Dear Natasha, 

I am 18 years old and my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. He means the world to me. Throughout the years we've both made mistakes and we would talk about them, fix things, and everything would be OK. This past Fall we both went off to university, but in different states, so we were having a long distance relationship. I was fine with it until I met a new guy who gave me everything I have been missing. We were not really dating but I had sex with him more than a few times. Earlier this week my bf found out and broke up with me. Now that he's gone I realize he has always been and always will be my everything. I still love him. I want him back but he won't accept my texts or calls.

Please help me, Natasha. 

Sincerely,

Miserable in Love

Dear Miserable in Love,

Wow. So you cheated, huh?

Well...imagine if the shoe was on the other foot? Wouldn't you feel hurt and betrayed? I don't know how long ago this happened but your bf probably just needs time to heal and to consider whether or not he wants you in his life. He may never want to be with you again and, quite frankly, that's his prerogative. You need to give him space to process. Hounding him won't make him forgive you any quicker. It may actually make him more upset. Give him the time he needs and while you're at it use that time to think things through. Maybe there's a reason why you cheated. Not saying that I condone it but perhaps you weren't as happy in your relationship as you thought you were. The grass may not have been greener on the other side but that doesn't change the fact that your relationship may not have been in a good place. You got together at a very young age and maybe you've outgrown each other. I'm certain you aren't the same person you were at 15, just as I'm sure he isn't either. Do your due diligence when assessing the situation and it'll make a world of difference.

I know you're miserable right now and the last thing you want to hear is someone telling you to use this as a learning experience but you should. Learn from this mistake so that in your next relationship, with him or someone new, it doesn't happen again. With time I hope that you acquire the maturity to talk things through with your partner rather than step out on your relationship. If you aren't happy then let him know. If it's something that can be fixed, great. If not, move on, but at least you can live with the fact that you were an honest and decent person. Everybody makes mistakes so don't let this one change your perception of self. But you have to grow from it.

I hope everything works out for you.

xoxo,

Natasha Marie

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