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Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Jhene Aiko...hmmm. How can I put this? Her music, and I say that loosely, gives me "monotone, spoken word, lullaby" tease. Her album should be prescribed to insomniacs. If ever there was a time
that you could not sleep, Jhene the Tranquilizer, could get you there. It took everything in me to write this review because I literally could not stay awake long enough to listen to the entire album. But here goes nothing:

Check out this track by track review of "Souled Out":

1. Limbo Limbo Limbo

Jhene is without a doubt president of the "She-Woman Man Haters" Club. She is the definition of a ball buster. Like GWORL. You are so hurt. Every song is about making sure a man knows he wasn't shit before he met her. He once was a man that set aside all his extra pride...

2. W.A.Y.S.

W.A.Y.S is short for Why Aren't You Smiling and it's all about positivity but LORDT she's depressing me. The only thing that fluctuates in this song is the beat. She KILLS me fr fr with her


You know what? New plan. I can't fathom reviewing this album track by track because in all honesty if you heard one song you heard them ALL. The instrumentals are the only thing that changes as she speaks over each track. She doesn't even attempt to hit a note higher than...who am I kidding? She hits NONE. I'm sitting here like


Instead of reading her poetry to music and calling it songs perhaps Jhene could just, I don't know, become a poet. Or hell write self-help books for the man-hating, self-absorbed, perpetually single women her butt ass hurt lyrics are targeted to. But stop calling yourself a musician. That you are NOT. 



I ask myself that EVERY time a new Jhene Aiko or similar gimmick is introduced to the musical world. Well I have some advice. You wanna be pretty? Then go be a fucking MODEL. You wanna talk slow AF in a monotone over a beat? Then go be a fucking POET. You wanna shake your ass up and through a video for the world to see? Then go be a fucking DANCER. Ne'er of those things a singer do make so do us all a favor and stay in your mediocre ass lane.


Natasha Marie


Natasha Marie
Written by Natasha Marie

Don't misplace your hate, help your fave. Tweet shade-free opinions to @iamnatashamarie.

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