Here’s the situation, I feel like I’m out growing my best friend Sabrina. We’ve been friends since we were 9 and now we’re both 21. She’s the mother of my 2-year-old godchild. When I went off to college, I noticed we fell off a bit. She succumbed to that “out of sight out of mind” mindset. When I’m home, I always extend the olive branch to hang out, she never does. If I don’t initiate it then I’ll never see her. When we do hangout, we’re great! We catch up, talk about the old days, boys and sex and that’s where the conversation ends. It seems like boys and sex are the only things we can relate about. I noticed she never asks, “How’s school?” and sure she may not care simply because she chose a different route in life. If I mention new friends, then she gets a little jealous. When I invite her to do anything with me, she either never has money or isn’t interested. I asked her to go to both National Moments of Silence days for Trayvon Martin and Mike Brown and she declined because she’d rather go shopping. This summer I reread the Autobiography of Malcolm X and the Autobiography of Assata Shakur and I asked her to read with me and she said no because “those aren’t the type of books she’s into.” On top of all of this, she told our other best friend that I was “turning white” whatever that means. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a great person, she’s such a sweet heart, we’re still cool, I still love her like a sister and I’d f**k someone’s life up over her however we’re not seeing eye to eye.
I understand that some friendships are only meant to last for seasons while others last a lifetime. I understand that it’s okay to out grow friends but I’m not the type to just throw away 10 plus years of friendship. Usually, I can cut people off with no problem but considering what she means to me I’m willing to hold onto her as long as I possibly can. If I just cut her off, where would that leave my goddaughter? A1 Day 1 friends are so hard to come by but these days I’m closer to friends I met via twitter than Sabrina. #NFML please and thanks.
Signed, Growing Apart
Dear Growing Apart,
“Growing apart doesn't change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I'm glad for that.”
Honestly, I've endured the same situation. Going off to college changes your perspective and outlook on life. It's hard to let go of people you grew up with because you don't want to appear as though you're acting "brand new" but the truth of the matter is
Time should never be a deciding factor when it comes to determining the outcome of relationships. Someone you meet tomorrow could have a far greater impact on you than someone you've known your entire life. I liken it to staying in a shitty relationship just because you've "been together for so long". So what? You most certainly shouldn't feel bad for wanting more for yourself and wanting to surround yourself with like minded people. If you never move forward, how can you expect to reach your full potential? Love your friend, love your goddaughter, but maybe Sabrina no longer has a place in your inner circle. And that's okay. Accept your change and growth for what it truly is: PROGRESS.
Bask in the ambiance of your social consciousness, your thirst for knowledge, and your quest to be the best YOU you can be. Don't ever let anyone take that away from you.
Remember
Remember
- Natasha Marie
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