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Monday, November 24, 2014

I have the strongest aversion to repackaged albums but couple that with an irrepressible fascination with Beyoncé and here I am...writing a review. It helps that although 3 of the 6 tracks were previously released I had only heard one. When KING BEY first dropped "Beyoncé" I was nothing short of amazed. My review was that of stunned admiration, a respectable disbelief of the sheer talent and audacity trapped inside one immortal being. As such, and knowing I couldn't do the original "Beyoncé" any more justice than previously written I shall place the link here for your viewing pleasure ["Beyoncé" track-by-track review] that you will read before continuing because yes, I am that good, and it's worth a detour.
At any rate, I'm continuing down the rabbit hole into the magical land of "Beyoncé" wherein she expects us to continue breathing no matter how many times she musically gut punches us or snatches us bald.

Check out my "track-by-track" review of the "more audio cd" of "Beyoncé Platinum Edition":

1. "7/11"
I have no fucking clue what's happening. I don't know what she's saying, no idea what she's talking about, and after watching the video I have no inkling WTF she's doing. But that's ok. Because it's Beyoncé. She has clearly been marching to the beat of her own drum for over a year now. She's going to hand us anything and we'd better take it. This track is like a lemon we bought from a used car salesmen. It's AS IS. Take it or leave it. I took it but I'm still on the fence. I think it's best that I get drunk and just vibe.
2. "***Flawless remix" (Feat. Nicki Minaj)
I think I gave this track alone 4 or 5 posts already lol so here are the top three. Read, enjoy, and relish in the aura that is KING BEY and EMPRESS ONIKA.
3. "Drunk In Love (remix)" (Feat. Jay Z and Kanye West)
Kanye could've kept this shit. Beyoncé had no business forcing this upon her many doting patrons. This is 7 minutes too damn long. Unlike the ***Flawless (remix) this did not enhance my life, it made it exponentially worse because, unnecessary.
4. "Ring Off"
Empowering message, underwhelming vocals. This is the anti "Single Ladies". At this point you've had the ring and you're coming to terms with your worth and realize you deserve better. Cool. So you took the ring off. I'm not really a fan of the instrumental but it could be worse. At least there's a message and she's not just spinning in a circle and kicking to and fro or whatever TF she was going on about.
5. "Blow (remix)" (Feat. Pharrell)
I wasn't a fan of the original "Blow" but I have to admit Pharrell makes the track slightly more tolerable. Nothing, however, can rid the song of that ghastly 70s, Roll Bounce tease that I am not, and nor will I ever be here for but hey, it happens.
6. "Standing On The Sun (remix)" (Feat. Mr. Vegas)
If you like reggae music you'll like this song. It's like The Maturation of "Baby Boy". They are definitely two sides of the same coin. I can see her slaying this live like
Sadly, I was hoping for a Beyoncé and Rihanna collaboration or a second EMPRESS ONIKA collab but I guess that will have to wait. Or it may just be wishful thinking on my part. Honestly, I thought Queen Adele was going to make a cameo but Beyoncé was just up to her usual witchcraft and wizardry going on pointless ass public dinners overseas just to tease us. She ain't shit for that. She better TF be on Adele's album or I'm rioting.
If you already purchased "Beyoncé" then I would suggest you just cop the additional items. Especially if you're interested in her live performance DVD. But if you're in the "Hive", i.e. Everyone in America, then buy the whole damn box set and add to her sales...it's only right. After all, somebody has to dethrone the sales of Taylor Swift...

"Beyoncé Platinum Edition" is in stores and online now!

Natasha Marie


Natasha Marie
Written by Natasha Marie

Don't misplace your hate, help your fave. Tweet shade-free opinions to @iamnatashamarie.

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